I'm a little confused about the 2X-Rule. I tried to use it on my 7 year old last night when she wouldn't get ready for bed. I told her if she didn't start getting ready, she would lose her doll for the night. She didn't get ready and I took away her doll. Then I told her if she didn't get moving, she'd also lose her treat for the next day. So she lost her treat and still didn't get ready but she got very mad and started screaming. So I told her if she didn't calm down, she'd lose her T.V. show as well. So, you guessed it, she lost her T.V. show. Then she was hysterical crying and saying she hated me. I'm not sure what went wrong. I was calm, like I was supposed to be. But she ended up in a horrible state. Any suggestions?
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| You can remove only one thing during an episode of discipline. You kept punishing her and punishing her, which is sure to get her very upset. The idea is to stop after the first punishment and let it sink in. I did it wrong at first too, so don't feel bad. I used to heap punishment upon punishment and it was really crazy. My kids hated me and their behavior got worse not better! Then listened to Sarah Chana describe the 2X-Rule on the podcast (you can download it from the site) and I finally realized that you only pick ONE thing at a time. I recommend listening to her teach it - it's an hour long and really explains the whole thing so you can use it right from then on.
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| It doesn't matter if your kids is upset as long as YOU aren't and you said you aren't so I think you're doing fine. Even if you gave too many punishments at least you weren't the one who was screaming. I discovered that if I was patient and just let my kids get one point at a time, then they really got it. I no longer try to teach them several lessons at once because then they don't get any of them.
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| I agree but it's hard to just let the misbehavior continue when you have already given the one punishment and the child still isn't listening. I told my 5 year old that if she didn't come to the table when I called, she wouldn't get dessert. She ended up losing dessert and she still didn't come to get her main course! I really wanted to punish her for that too, but I didn't. I just felt bad all night. But I was amazed when after that night, she always came to the table right when she was called. So I think this really works.
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