Sometimes a teacher tries to gain classroom control by threatening to send notes home to the students' parents. She is hoping that the parents will support her endeavors by showing appropriate displeasure to their kids. Ideally, parents and teachers work together to bring out the best in the children. What you can do if you want to help your son is let him know that the teacher is not happy and that you are not happy to hear that. You can tell him that you will be waiting to hear that his behavior has improved, at which point you will celebrate with him by doing activity A, B or C (pick something that he is interested in!). If this "sweet" approach doesn't work in short order - give it a week - then you can move on to the "sour" approach of discipline. Tell him that since you haven't gotten a good report yet (and, by the way, the teacher needs to be in on this plan, so do communicate with her before talking with your son), he will be deprived of X, Y or Z (pick an activity or possession that he does not want to be without) each day that a complaint comes home. By working with the teacher, you are presenting your son with a united front letting him know that the adults in his life care enough to help him function his best.   Sarah Chana

If your kid hasn't misbehaved before, maybe you could find out why he's doing it now. Maybe this teacher lacks classroom control. Or maybe he's being picked on at school. Or maybe he's finding the school work too hard. Kids don't just "start misbehaving" for no reason, so I suggest you find out what is happening in his life.