It's a normal developmental stage for teenagers to stop wanting to vacation with their folks. Teenagers, after all, are in a stage of life in which they are separating, individuating and becoming their own people. This doesn't suddenly happen on their 20th birthday - it's a gradual process of identifying their own preferences and spreading their own wings. If the family vacation gives the teens space to do their own thing and have fun with friends, then teens won't tire of it so quickly. For instance, visiting the same old family cottage will still be appealing as long as the adolescent still has a group of friends there who he or she looks forward to spending time with. Travelling might not be so bad if the teen is allowed to bring along a friend to do things with. Teens are - and should be - more into their peer group than into their parents. This doesn't mean that the teenager no longer has a relationship with his or her parents. It means that that the youngster is becoming an independent person who will choose relationships with lots of people, forming significant bonds with many and intimate bonds with some. The parents will continue to be part of the child's inner circle as long as they make themselves pleasant enough to be included. Part of being pleasant is being understanding, accepting, non-judgmental, flexible, agreeable and respectful. Although you may feel shocked, angry and hurt, you may not want to share those feelings with your son. He isn't doing anything wrong. Parental pain is normal when kids start to let go - it's just part of the parenting journey. Perhaps your son can stay at a friends' home while the two of you travel for a couple of weeks. Everyone can enjoy their summer that way. If you encourage your son's independence, you'll likely be rewarded with an enduring close relationship. If you force him to be close, on the other hand, by insisting that he comes with you - you may find that you alienate and anger him. The vacation may not be fun for any of you and it may be the beginning of the unraveling of the fine relationship you so badly want to maintain.   Sarah Chana