It really can be painful when a child is nothing like the parent. Bookworm parents are hugely dismayed to find themselves raising a kid who has no interest in reading. Socially active parents are completely turned off by their introverted and isolated youngsters. And highly motivated active parents are completely bewildered by their unmotivated, lethargic offspring. So your feelings are completely normal. You intellectually understand that your rejection of your daughter is hurtful to her and not a good thing, but you cannot stop feeling the way you feel. You should know that feelings do not go away just because we don't like them or because we ask them to leave! Sometimes feelings will persist no matter what we try to do about them but if you're going to try do something, at least try techniques that do have some success rate in shifting emotions. For instance, EFT (emotional freedom technique) gives deep and rapid relief from disturbing feelings. You can learn this simple self-help tool at www.emofree.com. A technique called "Focusing" developed by Eugene Gendlin can also cause a shift in feelings. Just do an internet search on that term and you'll find plenty of resources, including Dr. Gendlin's small paperback called "Focusing." Your intolerance of your daughter's style may be relieved by the Bach Flower Essence called Beech. You can look up Bach Flower Therapy at www.bachflower.com or find a Bach Flower Practitioner on-line.  You can also seek traditional psychotherapy which has a long standing record of helping people resolve their feelings. Interestingly, if you just accept your feeling, it may also disappear or at least lighten. Just coming to terms with this is your daughter and you actually don't like it, can provide tremendous relief. There is no rule that says a parent must admire their child! The only rule is that you must be respectful and kind toward her. You don't have to take her on weekly shopping trips or solve her issues with boredom (which, by the way, are generated by her brain, not her personality. Lack of motivation and the tendency toward boredom are in-born brain characteristics - not the result of bad character. Your daughter suffers from the way her mind works but right now she can't do anything about it.). So you can work on this in a number of ways and just continue to be the best parent you can be.   Sarah Chana