The child sounds pretty normal to me. At age 5, lots of kids still whine. They don't understand the needs of others around them - they're pretty self-centred. At the same time, they're quite demanding. If a child was not like this, he would be mature for his age. Of course, some children are more extreme in these traits than others. All of them need guidance - children need to be "raised." They don't come born ready-made. When one is dealing with one's own child, there is a certain blindness about the obnoxious traits that the child has. Parental love distorts our vision. Others, however, can see our child's faults with glaring clarity. You, as an outsider with no kids of your own, are likely to have less tolerance for the behaviors of little kids. However, just a person can be trained to become a school teacher or a therapist, you can aquire the skills you will need to become a good role model and a father image should you decide to stick around for the task. You can start by reading my book "Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice" or the dad-oriented version available on this site "The Tactical Guide for Dads in the Field." You can also consult a psychologist or parenting consultant to discuss effective strategies for modifying this little guy's behavior. When you see that you can be effective, you'll actually like him more. Don't try to give your fiance advice - you lack credibility at this point even though you have objectivity. Rather, invite her to read and learn with you under the guise of "helping" you to learn how to be a good dad to her little boy - she may pick up some good parenting tips herself. Most importantly, do not fight with her about how to raise the boy. This will harm the child and your relationship at the same time. Professional counseling can be most helpful.  All the best,  Sarah Chana