Parents often feel intense emotions when their kids make the transition out of their homes whether that is to get their own first apartment, to travel, go away to school or get married. After all, one is intimately involved with one's child for about 20 years, day in, day out, dealing with everything from runny noses in the early years to schoolwork, siblings and dating. Involved parents can make childrearing a full time vocation, doing research, seeking help, being personally present and involved. Then, one day, it's all over. Finished. The young person packs his or her bags, says "thanks" and goes out to start a life. And the parent is left standing empty-handed. For many people, this transition is painful and shocking. For most, it is quickly replaced by a sense of freedom and renewed personal energy. What you are describing in the stage you are at is "anticipatory grief." The separation hasn't happened yet but you are feeling the full force of pain. This can happen to some people because of a history of personal losses. It can happen to those who have trouble adjusting to changes. It can happen to those who are experiencing a load of other stresses. It can also happen to those who are predisposed to bouts of anxiety or depression or both. I would recommend you consult with a mental health practitioner. A short round of counseling may be enough to help you handle this transitional period without undue suffering. Occasionally, more than counseling may be required (i.e. medical support) but your psychological practitioner can advise you. Good luck,
Sarah Chana