My 12 year old daughter has the exact same problem. She's in tears almost every day over the way her "best" friend ignores her or excludes her or whatever. The other girls in her class are all trying to form liasons and there seems to be plotting and scheming and underhanded activities around all this. I think they're all getting hurt in the process. The teachers give talks on how to get along but nothing changes. Maybe it's just normal for this age group but I feel very bad watching this happen to my daughter and her friends.

I remember this happening to ME when I was in junior high school 30 years ago. So I think it is just a rite of passage and you should be sympathetic and supportive but don't bother trying to "solve" it. It's not going away until the kids get a little older.

Since you can't control the world, your only option is to help your daughter negotiate this difficult period of her life. She has to somehow feel confident enough of herself to see that sometimes others make mistakes in social judgment but it's not about her. She needs to learn that things even out eventually. You can guide her to develop interests and hobbies that can fill her time in a happy, fulfilled and constructive way so that she is not completely dependent on the whims of her friends. The more independent she becomes, the more the other girls will be drawn to her. Neediness always causes social difficulties. Nonetheless, while she is working on building up self-esteem and perspective (you can bring home tons of library books on the "best friend problems" theme), you can offer emotional support in the form of Emotional Coaching (see Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice for details of this technique). Let her know you hear, understand and accept her upset. That helps alot.   Sarah Chana