When 5 year olds engage in sexual play, it's not the same as 15 year olds doing the same. Five year olds like to learn about each other's bodies. They like to play "doctor." They may touch each other's private parts or kiss each other. However, it's all exploratory play. Adults are there to guide their young children appropriately. Your sister could simply have told her daughter that kissing boys is something for later, when she's a big girl. She shouldn't do it now because it's not appropriate for little girls. The child doesn't need more explanation than that. Then the mom could apply the 2- Rule (See Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice). The next time it happens, she would tell her daughter again, that it is not to be done, and that from now on this sort of behavior will result in a specific punishment (not spanking). All should be done calmly and without anger, just as in any disciplinary action. The punishment could be something like not being allowed to play with her little male friends for awhile and then being given a chance to try again. Or it could be losing a meaningful privilege (something she cares about). Spanking - an act of violence - is not necessary and carries many possible negative side-effects. As far as the sister being a bad influence - there is no danger of that from the incident you describe. Less worry and more patient love are in order here!   Sarah Chana

Why all the fuss? Kids do these things. Just tell them not to!