It is certainly hard to stand by and watch your grandson be hurt. You have to keep several tasks in mind in this situation. First, you do not want to harm your daughter’s marriage in any way, since your grandson will thrive best in a happy, intact family. Second, you do not want to alienate your son-in-law because then you will lose all opportunity of being a positive influence on him. And third, you don’t want to let your grandson see conflict between you and his parents, since this will be at least as damaging as the damage you are trying to prevent!
    Sometimes, a neutral third party can deliver the message better than someone who is closely involved. Dad needs to know about “emotional coaching:” the technique that helps kids develop emotional intelligence—the confidence to be themselves, to work well with others, to assert themselves appropriately and fearlessly—in short, to be a “real man!” (for boys, and a “real woman” for girls!). He also needs to know about the damage caused by negative labels and how these actually make a child weaker, more insecure and less powerful. This information is covered in detail in my downloadable lectures entitled “Emotional Coaching” and “The CLeaR Method.” You might buy your daughter and her husband the gift of these lectures (one hour each) (or get them the entire set of 5 lectures on the essentials of healthy parenting) as a parenting gift. Just tell them someone told you they were really good tools for stopping kids from becoming sissies! Dad, is after all, really trying his best with his son. With the right information, he can actually achieve what he is hoping for.