Don't judge yourself so harshly - your friends may have a different kind of baby than yours. My baby was also very high maintenance and I felt completely inadequate for so long. I went to a therapist who helped me to see that NO ONE would have accomplished anything with a baby like mine. Then I finally relaxed into the job and began to feel normal again. My baby is a little older now and can entertain himself a bit so I'm able to do more things around the house. Soon I'm putting him in playgroup and then I'll be able to do even more. So just relax if you can. This phase won't last forever.

Have you tried putting your baby in a carrier? I had to buy quite a few carriers before I found the one that worked best for me but when I did my life with my baby changed! At first I wore her on the front and then I switched her to the back (when she was able to hold her head up) but front or back I was able to do things like cook and clean. It made a huge difference.

I found I was getting depressed caring for my high needs baby. I got a babysitter to come to the house to be with him 3 hours every day. I was able to work on my business and prepare one meal. She took him to the park sometimes or just watched him and folded laundry sometimes. This helped too. After a few months I hired a cleaning lady for a few hours a week just to help with the big jobs and then everything felt much more under control. Sometimes you just have to get more help.

A baby swing saved my life with my colicky baby. It was the only thing that calmed him down long enough for me to cook a bit and do the basics of housework. Other than that, he sometimes just had to cry while I worked - even holding him didn't help. I got used to it and after the first 4 months, he improved. I hope yours does too.

Let's face it - babies are demanding. You may have to lower your expectations (drastically) for the first year. I think it's normal. If others are doing better - good for them! Maybe they have more hired help than you do. Don't even think about it. Just love your baby and do your best. Babyhood passes so quickly in the overall scheme of things, so don't sweat it. That's my advice.