Two year olds are so little I don't think it's fair to make them cry. I lie down with my little boy until he falls asleep and then I leave the room. If he wakes up later, I lie down with him again. I don't mind at all. I waited a long time to have this baby and I enjoy every minute of looking after him. I know he'll soon be bigger and won't need me or want me in his bed so I'm relishing every minute now. I know this doesn't necessarily work for people with a few kids, but he's an only child so it works for us.

I love my son too but I let him cry for a couple of nights and then he just learned how to settle down himself. The first night was the hardest - he cried for two hours. The next night he cried for an hour. The third night his heart wasn't in it but he moaned for about half an hour and on the fourth night he just went to sleep and has been sleeping ever since (this was 2 months ago). It may not be that easy for every baby, but it was fine for him! Tip: if you don't want to hear him cry, just leave the house and let your husband or babysitter stay home with him until he falls asleep.

My little kids sleep in my bed with me (a la Dr. Sear's attachment parenting, co-sleeping). They fall asleep with me in bed and then I just slip out and come back if they wake up. They seem very secure with this arrangement, although it does tie me down to the house in the evening. But I don't tend to go out often anyway. I could never stand to hear my two year old cry and I don't believe that keeping them company is "spoiling" them.

I think the concept of "spoiling" is very old fashioned. Nowadays we think in terms of forming healthy attachments, meeting a child's needs, fostering security and so on. As long as you don't stuff you kid with candy, you can't "spoil" him.

I think people are afraid to say "no" to their babies. It isn't convenient for everyone's lifestyle to have kids in bed or to stay home with them and tend to them every time they wake. In some households kids just have to learn to go to sleep and I don't think there is anything wrong with them crying a little bit while they learn the new routine. If they are well loved during their waking hours, I think they'll be quite secure. In fact, learning to have a sound uninterrupted sleep can actually be good for a baby's mental health.

There are, as you can see, many answers to this question. I think each parent has to find their own way. But I agree that loving a child and being responsive during the daytime is certainly protective and crying at 2 years is not the same as crying at 1 year or less - when the baby is still very new and unsure in this world. Two year olds are going to be crying about a lot of things that don't go their way and this will not harm them in the least - provided the parent is managing his or her own frustration well and not frightening or hurting the little one in any way.   Sarah Chana