My husband has the same problem as your son and I want to tell you that we suffered for years before I was able to get him to a wise marriage counselor. The counselor identified that my husband has OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder of the hoarding variety. This is an illness, not a lifestyle. I would suggest you get your son to a doctor. This doesn't go away by itself or by anything YOU can do.

I agree - you need a professional opinion. My wife has this disorder and we have been close to divorce many times. She's impossible to live with - she collects newspapers, magazines, stuffed animals, dolls, plastic bags, plastic containers, pencils - and much more. Our house is a disaster. And nothing I say makes any difference whatsoever. She is irrational about it. She'd rather have her stuff than have her marriage. Every once in awhile I go around and throw things out and she gets plenty mad about it but that's too bad. I can't like this and she doesn't think there's anything wrong with her so she won't get professional help. But your son is young - there is still hope for him. If you want to help his future happiness, get him to a psychiatrist now.

How do you know when the behavior is normal teenage messiness and when it is OCD? My son also collects lots of things but he manages to keep everything in neat piles or numbered boxes. In other words, his room is clean. Should I be taking him for an assessment or is it O.K. as long as he keeps things organized?

My wife is a hoarder with OCDPD - obsessive compulsive personality disorder. The differences between OCD and OCDPD are subtle but important. The first is an anxiety disorder and the second is a personality disorder. The treatments are also different. You need to ask a professional for the proper diagnosis. There's no way to figure out by yourself whether your son is normal, has OCD or has OCDPD - it requires a mental health professional who specializes in these disorders. Don't waste your time with anything less.